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| "I told you they didn't like you!" |
From naked and sweating at night, for months now, I was surprised of the sudden need for a nightgown, a sweater, three pairs of socks, and a blanket. Sat on the couch, and ate a bowl of Life.
Ventured to my office. Thought it'd be fun to check in on fellow film bloggers, and people I haven't read in a while. All cozied up, I started clicking, but instead of the warm fuzzies, my heart got nothing but hurt:
One of my all time favorite film bloggers has removed me from their sidebar list of Favorite Film Blogs.
You know, it's one thing for someone to never link to you. But to link to you, then remove it?
What did I do wrong??!
I don't know. I guess in this person's eyes, my blog has turned into such a mess, it's no longer a favorite, or worthy of a link.
I'll always link a blog that doesn't link to me, if I like it, and think it's great, original, and/or worth mentioning. Sharing. Want other people to partake in it. And enjoy it!
But if someone links here, and then says, "Nope, sorry, Ginger. You're just not good enough anymore," and removes it. That's tough.
I feel like garbage.
I delete their link, and that's it.
...
So what are your politics on linking?
I'll occasionally come across a blog that links here, and if I don't like it, I don't link back. But I may follow it, just in case I start liking it.
And I always follow a blog for a while, before adding its link to my sidebar.
So following is one thing, but putting a constant link to someone else's work onto your blog: it's a privilege for them, right? You shouldn't link EVERY blog.
I'm not running a chop shop here. I'm not asking for any money, from anyone or any thing. I don't deserve it! It's just a blog for Christ's sake. But why share my space with lesser bloggers, and advertise for hacks, if I'm gonna work hard on this? Though my posting is sporadic, I DO work hard when I'm here. Other times, I'm quiet because of you-know-what, and what ails me: what's wrong with that?
I don't expect a get out of jail free card in every aspect of life, due to illness, but I've always hoped friends -- even online friends who don't know me completely -- will be understanding and forgiving when it comes to my long stints of silence.
...
I'm in a cave, and no one likes me. Wouldn't it be funny if I had a real problem to deal with. ;)
My house is on fire.
The world is caving in!
I'm just thankful my daughter is healthy right now. I was so scared she'd get sick again, and we'd miss this past weekend's carnival.
We did. But only on account of a much-needed rain.
...
Hackenfish.
Some spam site stole my last film review, and did this to it:
One-liner accessories?? A force in the South?! It's like they translated my piece into a foreign language, condensed it, translated it back into English, then posted it to their crummy site.
There's no fairness online, anymore.
People steal stuff from you.
They disregard you.
...
Tonight, despite my sadness, I pressed on with the reading of film blogs, but after a while, felt a nagging doubt creep into my brain and kick its way down to my heart:
"I don't know what I'm doing."
I'm not as good as everyone else. What kind of authority am I on classic film? Who needs to know my opinions?? I didn't go to film school. I've never studied film. I didn't even finish my first semester of college. I hated it!
If I did go back to college, I still wouldn't study film. I'd study geology. Go dig up rocks, and tell you how old they are. What they're made of. How they got that way. Sit in the dirt, and be quiet, like a kid with her shovel on the beach. Lonely, watching all the other kids build castles. Build a tower around me, out of rocks.
-- Give me something I can hang onto!
We'll sign our names in the sand, and it doesn't matter what we use to write them, or if we stand there watching. Audience or not:
It's gonna wash away.
___________________________
20 comments:
Ginger, I studied film in university, but I would not call myself an expert because it's not really where my passion lies. You, on the other hand, have a passionate interest in film and film history. To me, that comes through. If you have enough passion and desire to learn as much as you can about a subject, then be willing and able to share that knowledge and passion... that makes you an expert.
Don't worry that others might know more about the subject, they don't have your perspective or your distinctive presentation.
As for someone stealing your review, I suppose it would be flattering if they didn't change it so much. The least they could have done was put their own names to it once they'd bowdlerized it. Still, perhaps you will get some readers curioous enough to wander over to get some of the real stuff.
Don't get hung up on what other people say, do or link to. Be true to yourself.
Ginger, your blog is great! I've been following it for a while. I agree with you studying film on college isn't the most important thing. I hadn't done it until now, but always deeply loved movies - this is the most important thing I guess.
Congratulations for the blog!
Kisses
Danielle
www.ofilmequeviontem.blogspot.com
You've actually deleted a link to my blog off of your website once a while back and I in turn did the same. I added it back eventually because I still have it up and you link to me now.
It's a bit painful to be snubbed, even online. I don't like it and I don't like doing it.
I had a SPAM site (from Pakistan) steal entire posts of mine. I did a DMCA on their ass and I started a whole campaign against them. I don't put up with that crap. You should consider putting up a disclaimer.
I LOVE your blog! And most of all I loe YOUR language - to me it sounds rather poetic. - for I am no native English speaker it might be bosh - but for me it is kind poetry. Am I wrong? Who cares? See the beauty in it. ;"P
130 followers is not THAT bad.. :")
And: I am happy your child is well again!
errr - did I mention that English is not my mother tongue? ;")
what I wanted to say is that
..I l o v e your language..
..it is kind o f poetry..
well, I'll go and hang my head in shame.. :"/
you're lucky if anyone links to you ever. bloggers are a selfish bunch, we like to hoard all the readers to our own sites.
that's why everyone is so miserable. there's no love!
it's time for you to start a revolution.
Links are tough, but there can be extenuating circumstances ... for instance: I've been overhauling my entire site for the past several months, one piece at a time. My sidebar was getting clogged, I decided to both reduce and expand my links all at once. This is a work in progress combining different pages from all areas of my site with hopes of importing the long list of sites I added to Classic Movie Search (all of which I've already vetted as worthwhile places to be). The end result is going to be a rotating 10-20 links on my sidebar that are always changing and a better organized link page or possibly pages of a few hundred sites. Right now I'm in the middle of this project, so everything's a mess. But as I said at the start, don't overlook the possibility of your drop being unintentional, could be everything from a situation like I just laid out to a link exchange software burp. I'd probably leave their link up and contact them to see what happened.
...As for politics, none really, if I bump into you and like you I'll link to you (as long as my site's backend is handy at the time!).
i'v got the lamest excuse of all, i simply dont know how to link to other sites in a sidebar.
Ginger i hope someday soon you'll not worry so much about what other people think and just write and post cuz you love it. you have many devoted followers and i'm sure i speak for many when i say we dont mind your periods of silence, because when you come back you always have something to say that's worth reading.
i mean realistically are any of us true "authorities" on classic film? what are the critieria to considered an authority anyway? who knows! we know what we know is all! but i can tell you none of us probly knows as much as Martin Scorsese has forgotten about classic films, but so what, its the love of it that keeps us learning, watching, enjoying, writing and sharing.
very glad to hear your kid is feeling better!!
Best wishes for you and your kid.
As for links, I'm a LiveJournal user ("Carole & Co."), and I link to two groups I'm part of (CMBA and LAMB). I'm not sure if LJ allows me to set up individual links; if it did, I likely would. I'm thankful other sites do link to "Carole & Co." (you're welcome to as well), and I hope no one believes my not recriprocating is an intended slight.
wv: "flappl" -- an all-natural beverage that, instead of giving you wings like a certain energy drink, ships you back to the roaring '20s.
M.D. Jackson: Thank you. You're very kind and wise.
I like your perspective on experts. I think I often brush my own site off as too casual; everyone else seems to have an air of confidence and maturity, and I lack those two things.
I try not to worry too much about linking, or other bloggers, but it hurts my feelings, you know?
Reminds me of in school, when the other girls won't sit with you at lunch anymore, and you don't know what you did wrong.
I feel like a kid all the time. An idiot. I wish I could be proud of myself.
And I can tell you went to university. I bet I could point out every blogger who did or did not go to college. There's a polish there. And I don't have it. And I don't want it, for my 'real' writing. But here? With an audience, it makes me feel nervous.
...
Danielle: Thanks.
I don't know if I said, "It's not important to study film in college." I think anyone who's gonna write about something, needs to know their subject. "Write what you know." And know what you write! ;)
I don't know.
You're very friendly. Embed your links, and more people will click on 'em.
...
Raquelle: Well, that's close to what happened. Back in January of this year, I came back to blogging, and saw you had deleted MY link, so I deleted yours. Then you came over here, and left a comment saying, I'm surprised to see you back! I thought your quitting was final. (Something like that...) 'Cause remember? I did quit this place for a while. I mean, I actually announced, "I quit." So, I figured that's why you deleted it. But then, I was back for a while, and you hadn't put it back, and I was scared to ask you about it...thought maybe you didn't like me anymore.
Anyway, we both put 'em back. And that made me happy, 'cause I've always liked you and your blog, and I didn't want any bad feelings between us.
Then, a few months later (or some time between January and now. Ha. I have a bad concept of time) I deleted yours a second time, but COMPLETELY by accident! I was cleaning out my links, and deleted the entire widget!! Had to put each link back, and yours and Dex (of Hollywood Dreamland) just didn't go back in, but completely by mistake. Honest. I felt real bad about that. It was just an oversight. :)
Sorry a spammer stole from you.
What's a DMCA?? Never heard of it. How do you do a disclaimer?
I get emails all the time from people telling me they've put my reviews on their site, so to give 'em a link back. And I'm thinking, Why the hell would I do that? Bunch of chiselers. ;)
Frl. Irene Palfy: Thank you. I love your blog too. And your English sounds fine to me. :)
I do write poetry. And when I get depressed, it starts coming out in my prose.
No, 130 followers isn't bad. But I don't know half of those people. Most of 'em never say anything. To me, it's just a bunch of little squares in the sidebar. Some of 'em are spammers, wanting to 'advertise'. And I don't get a 130 hits a day, so it's not the same as actual readers, you know? A lot of times, I get maybe ten people who come around on a regular basis; the 'returning visitors', as it says on my stat counter. The rest of 'em come in off of google looking for Gene Tierney, Bette Davis dolls, and half naked pictures of teenage boys.
So most of my 'readers' aren't even reading. They're downloading the pictures I post, and that's it.
Thank you for the kind words about my daughter. :)
I hope you're well, too.
No need to hang your head in shame! :)
...
The Kid in the Front Row: I suppose I should count myself lucky, then. That anyone links here. That anyone reads here. That anyone follows. Or comments.
I take everything for granted.
When I was a kid, I'd enter a beauty pageant, and win something, and it wouldn't even phase me. I was pretty. I knew I'd win something. Who cares.
Now. I write a decent blog, and people read it. It doesn't phase me.
I like it when people are my friends. When they leave a comment that actually says, "Hey, I like you; I read your words, and now here's what I honestly think of 'em."
I just get tired of some of the other stuff around here. The stealing, the self-advertising.
It doesn't matter.
You're great, and you have lots of readers.
I'm decent, and have several readers.
I don't know about this hoarding business. I'm not interested in hoarding anyone. They can go read wikipedia for all I care. What I want are FRIENDS.
But you're right; there is no love.
I actually deleted a paragraph from this piece about how bloggers used to be sweeter...
Maybe I WILL start a revolution! ;)
"Delete your links, and burn your archives! Blog every night! Tell people to not follow you. To go follow an ant on the sidewalk. Kill Facebook. Kill Twitter. Read a book. Be nice!"
Ha. Think it'll catch on? ;)
Cliff Aliperti: I don't know what 'extenuating' means...
Interesting story about your site. Good luck with your overhaul.
And I don't want to ask this person if he/she deleted me on accident or purpose because I'm scared of the answer.
I have social anxiety, and all of this is quite difficult. Even posting a piece is hard for me, despite my love of writing and love of film, because if I post something, someone (or several someones) may comment, and I don't know what to say. I get teary-eyed and nervous just responding.
Thank you, though, for the advice. :)
...
Artman: You goofball. ;)
It's not hard to link people...you go to your layout page, and add a link widget. Then put in the sites you want to link to. Then move your widget down below your profile, and archives, and all that. Then save.
I'd hate to see you in the old days of blogging, when we had to crack open the template designer and add all the links by html. :)
"Ginger i hope someday soon you'll not worry so much about what other people think and just write and post cuz you love it."
But I don't love it.
It's fun, but it makes me uncomfortable. Sort of like drinking. You go out, you get drunk, you have a good time, but somehow, the next morning, you can't help but regret it...
Devoted followers. Yes. That's what I like. They're not just little square in the sidebar. But it's the devoted ones I'm always worried about disappointing. Worried they'll quit liking me. Quit talking to me. Quit linking to me. ;)
Ha.
"i mean realistically are any of us true "authorities" on classic film?"
I think Jonas Nordin is.
And a few other of my friends. They seem to know classic film from the inside out.
"what are the critieria to considered an authority anyway? who knows!"
I think I've annoyed you. ;)
Ha. A college degree. Experience in film.
Kid on the Front Row is an actual screenwriter and director! Did you know it? Pretty big stuff!
I'm a mom who lives in a trailer, sitting at a desk at three in the morning, trying to think what my daughter's gonna wear to school tomorrow.
I feel like a fraud.
"but so what, its the love of it that keeps us learning, watching, enjoying, writing and sharing."
Smartest thing anyone's said all day.
Thank you for the kind words on the kid. :)
...
VP81955: Thank you, thank you. :)
If I had ever actually watched a Carole Lombard movie, I'm sure I'd enjoy your site. ;)
Sorry you got ripped off. I think what Raquelle means by a disclaimer is some sort of copyright or Creative Commons announcement on your blog that warns people about stealing content. I know this same thing happened to at least one other classic film blogger I know. I've never checked to see if RFBanjo content is ending up on other sites--probably afraid of what I might find!
For myself, I'm just glad to see you back--you're missed when you're gone--by me certainly, & it seems by a number of others as well.
Followers doesn't translate to readers, you're right.
Sid & Nancy....
Ginger, I just moved the "Tool Shed" from my sidebar and my intent was to have you back there -- but then my flat rate was suddenly gone.
I think you're very, very talented in writing and I adored your blog before you vanished months ago. All the time I kept you there, hoping you would come back.
I've just learned that my blog is on your sidebar now. Thank you! I had put you back on my sidebar before, because your "blogging doubts" worried me - so I did it without working flat rate... Well, now it does work. :)
Ginger, I'm really 30s through and through and that goes for sexual-moral too. The so-called 60s' sexual revolution is inhumane in my opinion. I have to consider my personal feelings too -- I want you to understand that.
I like you very much, Ginger!
Now your blogging doubts:
Ginger, not the facts you're writing about are the elementary thing, it's the way how you say it. A lot of people like the way how you speak things out. Me too ... wellll -- if it's not off-color (sorry, my weak point ;)) ... But okay, a lot of people like your off-color stuff too.
Frankly I wouldn't care if some idiots did odd things with my texts. The www is full of idiots and that's the reason why I'm full of distrust: They will never get a picture of myself! And as you see on my profile, I keep all my private data out.
Don't forget, even mentally ill people go online every day. So it's no wonder if sometimes strange things happen. Once they did very odd things with contents from my website. It was too idiotic, so I didn't care - I would've wasted my time.
If you care and show you're hurt, those idiots will have a triumph - so they might do it again...
Don't forget: They way HOW you say it makes your blog great.
Write your name in the sand first.
Hi hunny
I've just found your lovely blog....
Sorry you're having a tough time right now.
I know it's not the same thing but I design and make handmade goodies and through my blog I noticed someone has been copying my designs exactly. I was well peeved I can tell you!
So in a way i do know what you are going through a little.
As for your writing hun, I didn't go to Uni, or college.
I just write from my heart and what I've researched myself.
I do beat myself up at times that I am not that good as some but I've learnt thta bloggers are often quite fickle and lazy.
If I write a longer piece I ofen don'y get comments because I guess it means they have to put in some effort!
Anyway unpeturbed I decided to have a go at writing my first novel...nothing fancy just achic flick kinda book and I'm loving it.
Go with your heart hunny...
I'm off now to investigate your lovely blog...
If you have five mins do drop by for a coffee and browse at mine...
www.tillyroseblog.blogspot.com
Karen x x x
Found your blog from Frl. Irene Palfy. I have had several people drop me from their links, never understood it but try not to care.
It is hard to blog, either your famous for some reason or no one likes you. I just try to keep doing it for fun for me and hope someone might like it too.
On my Zane Swan blog I only have 4 followers but more on my art blog.
Any way glad to have found your interesting blog.
Yes, you get lots of weird visitors.
Today on my stats: Someone found my article on FOOTLIGHT PARADE via google.
What was he actually looking for:
"hotmore" (not quite sophisticated, is it?)
So why did he get my blog? ... because of this:
sweet and HOT - MORE Than Just Parading Footlights.
Funny!
But I don't have bloggin'- doubts at all. ;)
Please return soon. And did you get the emails I sent you?
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