On my way down

So the Kid was sick; then sick again; then sick again. Then I got sick, right? Was better for ONE day, injured, and now the kid is sick AGAIN.

Though at least there's some variety -- this time, she has the stomach flu.

I was on my way out of town yesterday; I really needed to buy groceries, because I've been too sick to go and buy them. Was ten minutes out of town when the school called; your kid has puked all over the playground.

All right.

Went and picked her up. Bathed her. Took care of her. MY JOB, right? That's fine.

Went to bed early last night.

Been with her since five o'clock this morning; she woke up crying...cried all morning. Ran fever. Miserable.

I'm not expecting everything to be perfect and easy, but there's never even a break anymore. I hate waking up in the morning, knowing it's gonna be nothing but 'stress' all day, and 'fear' all night. I hate for my kid to be running fever, and running to the bathroom, sick and hurting, and taking medicine all the time. I'm so tired of it, for the both of us.

This year has been nothing but sickness, and worry, and snow and ice. And next is tornado season. That'll be fun, too.

-- Yes I am in a bad mood. ;)

I'm sorry; I wish I could cheer up, or just cry.

...

DUCK SOUP finally came in the mail today. I should probably go pour me a drink, and get in the bed, watch a movie, and Relax.

I should; but I won't. I don't want to be drinking if she wakes up and needs me. And I really don't want to start a new-to-me-movie just to pause it every two seconds 'cause I'm sure I heard the dawn of something serious via the baby monitor pressed against my ear!

I'm too nervous...

I think I need a vacation. I think I need to go lie in the sun somewhere. I think I need to throw the baby monitors in the trash can (if just for one night). And get more sleep. I think I need to stop drinking. I think I need ONE MORE, and right now! I think I need less time to think, and more time to write. I think I need more quiet time. I think I need to clean the dead ladybugs out of my giant bathtub so I can take a bubble bath tomorrow night. I think I need to teach my child the importance of not licking dirty doorknobs. I think I need to get some sleep tonight in case tomorrow is awful too.

This blogathon is almost over, so pretty soon, you won't have to read this sort-of-thing. I'll just be quiet...and you'll know that I'm in my own personal basement.

It's a lot less time consuming, that way. ;)

Nothing to write; nothing to read. Just blank.

I hear her whining.

It's coming you know? Something bad is always coming, and when it's gone, something else comes right after.

While lamenting that thought to a friend yesterday, he told me, Sure, a lot of little bad things always seem to happen in my life, over and over, and no, there's never much time to come up for air, but if I would only learn to react to it, differently. If I could just TAKE it, and not worry so much, it wouldn't seem so bad.

And if I was colorblind, the sun would still burn my eyes if I stared at it.

What difference does it all make??

I'm so tired.

Please ignore me.

And forgive me.

It's hard not to feel hopeless and shy when you're alone late at night.

It could be worse, though, right?

Of course, right! :)

I just need some sleep.

Or some help.

Or a drink.

A vacation.

Something better, and brighter, than this stupid, cold, and sickly year has offered.

Or maybe I should write a novel.

NOTES FROM THE BASEMENT ala Notes from Underground.

In honor of the title; in namesake only. If I could actually WRITE like Dostoyevsky, I guess all my problems would be solved.

And if the sun weren't so bright, it wouldn't burn my eyes in the first place!

-- Colorblind or not...

Of course, who in their right mind stares at the sun?

Me, apparently. I can't seem to take my eyes off it...

I'm in the WRONG mind.

I thought I was going to bed? ;)

I really hope you quit reading this a long time ago, and have moved on to a more pleasant blogger who actually writes about movies...

Or, whatever makes you happy.

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